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Does {true} Love Exist?

September 8, 2009

Every week, no matter where I am, whether it be at home or away on the road, it never fails. At least once during every week, I’ll be having a conversation, and it will… (sometimes intentionally, but usually not)… turn to the topic of love. Most of the times, the conversation begins with the discussion of personal relationships. But, often it ends with the question of what true love is. And I am left wondering… does true love really exist?

[Keyword = True. Then I find myself asking, shouldn’t all love be true? Why the need to specify? Perhaps the bigger question is: Do we understand love? We’ll leave that question for another post. :] Back to my original question…

My answer: Yes. True love does exist.

BUT, perhaps more often than not, it appears to be dead. The more I learn about love, the more I realize how unending it is. I have much knowledge to gain, but what I do know now is this: 

Love does not survive inside the box that we have put it into. It cannot breathe, much less move, when we put restrictions on it and tell it to only be present when we agree with certain people. No. Love is bigger than the box. Any box. It’s bigger than me, bigger than you. Love is all about freedom, not bondage. It’s not an action relevant to just being in a relationship, but a statement about our entire existence.

Love is perfect. People are not. But if we want to be better people, love will help us do this. There is no good argument for loving with boundaries. No, not one. So, why must it be so hard to love everyone?  There are endless excuses and millenia of reinforcement, but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s hard, and people try our patience, our good will, our ability to love. But, that doesn’t make it okay to quit loving them. In fact, that’s when they need it most. The good part is: Love is still alive, and it can overcome all else. If we allow it. If we invest in it. If we throw fuel on the spark and allow it to set us all on fire for good.

My desire to write on this subject was sparked by this post by J. Dustin Durham, written back in May of this year. I recommend checking out the whole post, but if you don’t have time, at least check out this excerpt. Good stuff.

People are often afraid to love until they are educated on what they don’t understand. Not everyone has the ability to see the soul of a person, and love them for being the brilliant creation that they are. Why is it we get so wrapped up in what someone is wearing, where they live, or what they do for a living? What gives us the right to judge a person, not on their soul, but on the materials they own (or that own them)? I’m tired of seeing humanity stoop to this level of mediocrity – people watching Perez Hilton, instead of doing something to better the world, for example. We love to tear others down….I feel it helps us to avoid seeing our own flaws. It’s like the tactic of diversion; create a bigger issue elsewhere to avoid dealing with what’s really at hand. How long can we keep doing this, though? Certainly we must eventually grow out of it, right? As a society, what can we do to just spread the message of love, and not of discrimination? How can we steer away from celebrating misfortune, and celebrate freedom? Or am I just asking rhetorical questions, and am forced to live within the mess that we’ve created for ourselves? I refuse to accept the latter. Love IS a movement. Love IS a revolution. I’m ready to start this movement and revolution – I hope you’re brave enough to join me….

What he’s saying is radical. What if we could do this? It would not only change the loved. It would also change the lover and, in turn, the world.

Call me crazy, but I believe this is what we were intended for.


11 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2009 10:28 pm

    nice, good stuff, man. thought provoking, to say the least.

  2. September 9, 2009 8:59 am

    hmmm…. Love.

    I’d have to agree with you that true love DO exist.

    However, I think one’s gotta be patient with love. To force love on someone seems, and sounds, kinda wrong. For the ones who just seem a little harder to love, one just gotta be patient and keep on trying. And “quitting” seems okay coz loving one person, let alone everyone, can be pretty tiring.

    And with regards to “world peace” and love….. I must admit that as a dreamer, I know that that’s one dream that’ll forever be just a dream. But i’ll always say, keep on dreaming…. no matter how crazy it may seem.

  3. courtney903 permalink
    September 11, 2009 12:03 am

    you said it so well. so, so, so well.

  4. September 11, 2009 12:25 am

    Woah. Absolutely gorgeous, and poignant, and so what I needed to read tonight.

    {Standing slow clap}

  5. September 12, 2009 4:46 pm

    Nice post 🙂

  6. September 14, 2009 11:04 pm

    loves it.
    heh im cliche.

  7. September 26, 2009 12:37 pm

    *sighs deeply and gets a little bit more comfortable in bed*

    I love love and I have spent countless hours wondering about it, reading and writing and running around it. (there are numerous posts on my blog about it too)

    I think love is the essence, love is the light, the colour of white that really, as we know are just every colour blended into one.

    So love must be oneness.

    And maybe, why we are having a hard time with love is because we stand outside that oneness, because we still see ourselves separated from each other.

    The book “Conversations with God” from Neale Donald Walsch reminds us that there really are only two emotions in our world: love and fear. I won’t rob you of the pleasure of revelation, so just take my advice and read them!

    Love is the air inside the box, the box itself aswell as the air that surround it.

    Bon Iver’s sings in “re:stacks”:

    “This is not the sound of a new man, or a crispy realization. It’s the sound of the unlocking and lift away, your love will be safe with me”

    Smiles for miles,


  8. September 26, 2009 1:29 pm

    thanks so much for reading this post and for all of your comments.

    Helen, you have given me a new perspective that I didn’t think about while writing this… i will have to check out your post and also this book you mention. Sounds very intriguing. And I think this idea that love is oneness makes a lot of sense. Thinking of ourselves as separates probably is an obstacle to love. Thanks again for sharing!

  9. September 26, 2009 3:01 pm

    You are welcome! 🙂 I read a few of your posts and couldn’t help commenting haha, and with a question like “does (true) love exist?” how could I not plunge in 😉

    Keep up your writing, its great!

  10. August 16, 2010 9:16 pm

    Wow – just saw that my writing inspired someone else to spread the spirit of my message! Thank you so much! Definitely enjoying your posts….


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