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circa One Year Ago

December 19, 2009

[Looking through some old writings, I found this letter to a close friend. Dated 1/4/2009, this was my goodbye to her.]

So I heard that you’re leaving
And it took me a while to figure out
Just how exactly to say goodbye.
It’s not very easy
To put a finger on all that I want to say
Much less describe it in words.
So, I’ll use words that helped me along my way
Here’s my shot at this goodbye:

Seems not that long ago when I was writing
About finding Arizona
And now you are really leaving for the west
Seattle, just may be your Arizona.
Your state of peace and of a new start.
There, I know that you will find
Incredible new experiences
And hopefully the time of your life.
You’ll find tears and smiles
Laughs, letdowns, love, work
And a new self out there.
But do remember no matter where you end up
It’s never about the name of the place where you find yourself
But the happiness that it reveals.
Arizona is the state of mind
May you take it with you as you go.

And, for you, this is my wish.
Hoping that it will be easier. More today than yesterday. More tomorrow than today.
Because in this may you know that you have learned.
And then your experiences are no longer regrets, but the compass that led you here.

And may you realize.
Some people spend their whole lives grasping what they’re too afraid to lose.
Never embracing anything new. So, they have what they think they want,
but they are scared to death to experience anything more.
I wish that you will enjoy the spontaneity of life.
Its twists and turns, though inbearable at times,
Are what make this life.
And as long as you need it, you will have yourself.
Appreciate others while they are here with you.

Feel good when you are able to do big things like this.
It’s okay to pat yourself on the back.
And these good memories will get you through the bad.

There will be days when it’s seemingly impossible.
Though it may appear to others that you are standing still
You’ll be fighting hard to keep your knees from buckling.
To stop the rain from knocking you all the way to the ground.
And at these times. Ask for help. It’s okay. No, it’s necessary.
We weren’t meant to bear the weight by ourselves.

On the days, when you feel like it couldn’t get any better,
when you no longer know where to go.
When you’ve reached the peak and seen the view from the top,
Go back and help someone else climb their own mountain.
Carry their pack and give them your water
Because the view from the top is even more beautiful when shared.

Love.
Stop looking for it. And do it.

There will be days when you will miss how things were.
But that’s okay,
Because every day you will be missed.
Just because you can’t see us
Does not mean that we’ve left your side.

Remember what you have already learned.
Know that it’s not about finding yourself
But about creating yourself.

When you are thinking good about someone,
Tell them.
This may be your best way to make new friends.

Turn a weakness into a strength.
Each week try a new thing.
Living outside your comfort zone
Eventually makes you comfortable in more places.

You’re good at stuff.
Know what stuff that is.
Use it to get where you want to be.
To bring yourself close to others.
And to help them smile.

What if tomorrow you found out
That you had the perfect genes
To become the very best at your sport
Well, we all have what it takes. No matter what we think.
It’s the will to train, work, give up everything, all your heart.
In pursuit of the prize
That determines if we become champions at what we do.

May you be free from worry. Free from pain.
Release it all into the sky as you drive away.
May you be free from others. Free from yourself.
See your soul all alone for the first time in years.
And may you be free from the future. Free from the past.
Breathe in this one breathe and nothing else.

Remember that these people around you are real.
They’re not just a crowd of strangers.
But best friends, coworkers, counselors, a boss, an advisor
Just waiting to be met
And more of them are like you than you can tell.
They have beating hearts. Often broken. Ofter scarred. But beating.
And perhaps you are the friend they are waiting for.

And this is my shot at encouraging you.
Because following a dream can be hard-
And sometimes all that keeps you fighting for what you want most
Are the people that are supporting you
Back home
Or in Seattle
Wherever they may be
That’s not what matters,
But that they have in common
A desire to see you succeed.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 4, 2010 10:19 pm

    It’s funny how things happen. I’m moving to Sacramento in a few weeks & to have been able to come across this post at such a time is indeed a blessing. These last few weeks have me very overwhelmed with fear & worry. So I wanted to say to you, thank you.
    For your beautiful words to your friend that so inspired me when I am getting very anxious and nervous about my own big move. I’m back on track now. Excited & positive about the journey before me. The power of words never ceases to amaze. Kudos to you.

    • January 4, 2010 10:49 pm

      thanks so much, Lori. I’m really glad these words were able to help out. I truly believe in them and wish you the best of luck on the beginning of your new journey… keep in touch.

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