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No Tears, Not Now.

September 14, 2010

For me, it was a race to dive into her parents’ pool to retrieve these little toy turtles.

For her, it was that I dumped her for another girl named Samantha.

Those were our first memories of each other, 20 years ago in Kindergarten. Yes, TWENTY.

But since then, we’ve made countless more. Like our reuniting and becoming the best of friends thanks to Mrs. Salisbury 10th Grade English which just happened to seat us at the same table. But we both knew it certainly wasn’t by chance that this happened. Mrs. Salisbury liked us, and she had to have known what good friends we’d become. That year is when we began to open up and become real friends. That year she even let me read a note that her boyfriend wrote to her sdrawkcab [backwards]. I thought that was cool. That’s where it started.

Little did we know at that time that this friendship would turn into SO much more. Like the time we did a spur of the moment trip to Chicago for Lollapalooza or all those nights we spent dancing the nights away in that one Nashville bar. And there was that one time we met a leprecaun in the CD Warehouse parking lot. And the time we got in a car accident and she kept me from getting beat up by an angry (perhaps also drunk) man without car insurance. Or how about the time that she taught me how to step dance. I could write day and night for the next month naming all of the memories that we have had together. But, to be honest, the stories don’t even begin to really tell just how the thought of them makes me feel.

You see, tomorrow is just another day for me. I’ll go into work by 9am, work about 9 hours, only to go back home and do my routine all over again.

But for her, tomorrow is different. Tomorrow she moves an ocean away. This is the first time that we’ll have been separated for more than 6 months living in different places. And I feel lost.

Though it’s going to be hard to spend so much time away from someone I’ve shared so much time with, there’s no tears, not now. I’m way too happy, way too excited for her. Because in so many ways, I feel like I’m moving too. I experience joy when she experiences it.

Christina is the longest best friend I’ve ever had. I can honestly say that I’ve never loved anyone more than her and that she is my family. I can say with certainty, that most people go through life without having ever developed the kind of friendship that we have together. If they did have it, surely people wouldn’t be nearly so bitter.

You see, Christina accepted me even before I accepted myself. She’s that kind of a friend. One that you can’t teach friendship to, but they seem to innately understand your soul, and without each other, life isn’t complete. She had always been through more than me and she always helped me through whatever I was struggling or celebrating. She always told me “Give yourself two weeks” and you’ll feel better. And it always worked. She has never been a jealous friend, instead she’s always been the one to have my back no matter what. And, man, I can’t tell you just how good that feels. She’s never once judged me, but instead has given me confidence in myself and made me appreciate all that I have. She has made up such a huge part of who I am today. That’s why I’m thrilled to see her chase her dream now. Chasing isn’t the right word. No, I’m thrilled to see her fulfill it!

So, even though I have to tell her ‘See You Later’ tonight, I know that this is no goodbye. Though not physically, I’ll still be traveling with her. There’s no way we can be apart. Good luck, Christina, I love you.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2010 10:08 pm

    I love this post. Love.

  2. September 14, 2010 11:02 pm

    Good words well written, props!

    “Laugh until you weep and weep until there is nothing left but to weep at your laughing, for in the end it’s all one.”

    Best
    David

  3. September 14, 2010 11:03 pm

    *oops…
    “Laugh until you weep and weep until there is nothing left but to laugh at your weeping, for in the end it’s all one.”

    heh heh, long day, my bad

  4. September 19, 2010 6:40 pm

    this is great ben!

  5. qeblog permalink
    September 25, 2010 1:46 pm

    What a beautiful post. You make it seem easy to sum up a long, loving relationship in such few words. I wish you the best.

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