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Fear of the Dark

July 17, 2011

[thoughts from 2009.]

When you sit in the dark for long enough, your mind begins to play tricks on you.

The wind in the willow tree becomes a rush of men. The raccoons in the bushes are suddenly raged robbers just waiting to take you over. And what you’d describe in the daylight as a beautiful spring creation is, in the dark, your worst fears and beginning of an ulcer.

Well, I’ve sat in the dark for long enough. My mind has convinced me that there’s no hope, that it’s all my worst fears. And so the thought of noise in the dark has kept me silenced. And the thought of company in the vacuum has kept me lonely long enough. Now this fear of movement has created deep pain. When the truth of it is that, in the light, this is all so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

I’m ready to come out of the shadows and into the light. So I can see myself once again. The real me. The beautiful me. Not the one created in the dark.

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