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May 21, 2012

Like a flooded river running off the side of a cliff, a waterfall engulfing everything underneath. A flood of emotions. I used to have to write to stay alive. I used to bottle it all up inside and then unleash it all on the paper. All the things I couldn’t say. All the things I couldn’t do. All the things that were only hopes and dreams and wishes of what could be. I only had them on paper. Now I have them in reality. What I thought could never be is HERE.

The breaking point, just behind me. So glad I lived through it. When everything felt wrong and nothing was going right. It was only just the beginning. I’m not quite sure how things began to change, but they did. One small action at a time. And now, I’m here. Patience and trust, my only friends at times.

I’m finding that this whole being me thing is working out for the best. Things falling into place with amazing surprises along the way. No, it’s not easy most of the time, but it feels right. When you find yourself, and learn to love yourself. Just as you are. Then things begin to change.

Sometimes I begin to think that my waterfall is gone. The water dried up after so many years. No emotions left to give. But then I remember that the water is still there. Only downstream from where it used to be, in another phase of the journey. Making its way down the lazy river, not knowing what’s just ahead.

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